If we came to earth and everything we'd ever wanted to happen happened, I'm actually quite positive that we'd still find a reason to be unhappy. And so I guess that's a thought that I have been tossing around within my skull for the past few weeks. I didn't WANT to come home from Korea; in fact, that was actually the last thing I wanted to do. And honestly, right at this given moment in time, I don't want to be where I am at; I want to be back in Korea. Don't get me wrong, it's been amazing to be with so many of my loved ones, but given the current circumstances, I just feel so out of place. And the gaping hole in my chest is clear evidence to me that I left my heart in that Asian land of kimchi an K-pop.
It's funny, because we always manage to want exactly what we don't have. Curly-haired women envy straight hair and straight-haired women envy curly hair. When I lived in Korea, I longed to see my family and now all I long for is to be back in Korea. And so as I was sitting one day in sorrow whilst reflecting upon the memories that were born in K-town, I realized something: if we spend our entire life longing for things that we don't have, how on earth can we expect to just be HAPPY?
This is hard. But then again, life wasn't meant to be easy. God did, however, create a plan that was intended to make us happy. Not just in a futuristic sense, mind you, in a moment to moment, day to day, year to year, forever kind of sense. And so, when we succumb to sorrows and sadness, we are merely forgetting.
Even though part of my heart is immensely sad, I am happy. I am happy because I am with the people I longed to be with for nine months. I am happy because I found my space pants in an old box and now I wear then way more than I should. I am happy because I've got a mailbox full of letters and you know how much I love words. I am happy because I went on the greatest adventure of my life; and hopefully I'll get a chance to continue it. I have so many reasons to be happy that I'd be silly to waste so much energy focusing on the things that make me unhappy.
So today, I'm going to smile.
Today, I'm going to be grateful.
Today, I'm going to remember.