October has always been my favorite month. Not for any one reason, mind you, but for every reason. Like haunted houses, crispier air, golden leaves, pumpkin everything, fall fashions, boots on boots on boots, cuddling weather, morning hot chocolate and lots of fuzzy socks. I could, of course, be extremely cliche and list lots of other things that people (myself,in particular) love about the autumn season (and more specifically, the month of October) but I'll just let you fill in the blanks with a curt head-nod and an acknowledgement of how awesome this month really is.
I heard lovely words today. The kind of lovely words I've been waiting to hear ever since I stepped onto the aircraft that carried me out of Korea. It's just a step, but it's a step in the right direction.
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It was a lazy Friday night. I fell asleep during the movie, as usual, and I'm sure he thought it was funny. But I remember waking up for a moment and fidgeting enough that the blanket I was cozied up under slipped off my feet. And he ever so gently tucked my feet back underneath it. And there was another night when I tried to convince him to teach me how to longboard. But I chickened out as soon as I put all my weight on a stick suspended by wheels. So I made him run circles around the cul-de-sac as I death-gripped his shoulders and we both attempted to keep me safely on the board. There are so many moments-- memories-- dancing around inside my head. And it feels almost as if time has somehow transformed them into dreams.
On days like today I miss the days that used to be. Not because the right now isn't happy-- just because I miss the people that used to be right here. And I know they're doing good things. Especially him, I know he's doing wonderful things. I know he's very capable of touching the hearts of so many people because of the way he was able to touch my heart. It's not a bad kind of missing. Just missing. And I've always known that missing is one of the privileges of loving someone.